Unknown (via dieworten)
Picture taking in LIC
Martha Nussbaum (via aufwaerts)
A while ago my mom confessed something to me that changed my view of her completely.
When we first arrived to the United States we lived with various family members, many who were unable to adapt to one adult and two very young girls living with them. It was constant chaos and arguments. For a long time it felt as if nothing was ours and any semblance of a home was not our home but simply a place of dwelling. My mother, sister and I spend many nights on the steps of a church close by. When you are young, you can sense the disparities in your life but somehow you can hide from them by playing. So on those steps my sister and I jumped around, read books and played cards. My mother would sit by us, a distant look to her. She had left many things behind in our country, including the love of her life.
What my mom confessed to me was that on those steps she had once contemplated ending her life.
My mom left her country out of fear. Fear of my father but ultimately fear of what our lives there would inflict on my sister and me. The violence she encountered was slowly being passed over and she made the final decision to abandon what she knew for the unknown. Arriving here she faced the constant message of inadequacy, financial instability and responsibility. She saw no hope for herself but more so no hope for the two daughters she wanted desperately to help. The dark cloud of thought that washed over was that perhaps we were all better off not existing.
But here I am. And here she is. And our bond has grown stronger. Her confession exemplifies her resilience, her weaknesses and her love. She worked through years of despair and heartache to raise two daughters.
I am eternally thankful for my mother and eternally proud to be her daughter.